I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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