If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
