Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
