I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
