No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
