I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
