DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You made out with two different species that night
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
