Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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