Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I skipped work to stalk him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
