Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
