i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
