Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
