Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
