Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
