i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
