Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
