dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
