By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
