I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
