ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
