I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
