I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I am naked and annoyed.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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