How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
