Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
