You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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