He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize