let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
