I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you made out with another girl for some wings
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
