Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
a search helicopter?!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize