I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize