you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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