Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
