i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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