More tranny stories later!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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