I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
