I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
