It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
