Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
