just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
