Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
foreskin is a definite game changer
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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