I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
