Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
