I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
