He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
