Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i think i scared a bird with my dick
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
