I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
