I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
