Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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