Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
