Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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