I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
