Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
