you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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