Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
