I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
