Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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