...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
