He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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