i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
