this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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