all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
