Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
