He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
