i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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